Suffering through a miscarriage is traumatizing both physically and mentally. As a woman, you may simultaneously feel betrayed by your body and as if you have failed yourself, your partner, and the rest of your loved ones.
If you have recently gone through a miscarriage yourself or one of your loved ones has, I want to offer my sincere condolences. However, know that there is light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel of grief. It’s okay to ask for help with returning to self-compassion after a miscarriage.
Your feelings are valid
Many mothers who go through a miscarriage grapple with guilt caused by their feelings. You may think, well, I didn’t lose an actual child. This could not be further from the truth. Losing a pregnancy is losing the potential of a child, it is losing the plans and future you had planned for your new baby. Your feelings of loss are completely valid and warranted.
In this time of your life, it is so important to remember to practice being gentle with yourself. The next time you find yourself having a hard time accepting how you feel, take a beat to recognize your feelings and where they stem from. After that, acknowledge them internally and accept them without guilt. Remember, your feelings do not define you, they are just a small part of yourself.
Remember to take care of yourself
Going through a period of mourning will likely have you forgetting to practice self-care. However, now is the perfect time to discover how you can satisfy your wants and needs through self-care. Giving yourself an extra dose of love is exactly what you need.
If you are struggling to discover what feels like the right form of self-care, you can try the following examples to see what feels right for you.
- Discover mindfulness: Mindfulness is a great way to take care of yourself. This is the practice of taking a full inventory of yourself and therefore becoming very in tune with your body. Meditation is a wonderful mindfulness technique. This gives the added benefit of being a great way to reduce stress.
- Find a creative hobby: Discovering a creative hobby is another option to renew your sense of joy and feel productive at the same time. Low-impact hobbies such as crochet, photography, or even cooking are all great options.
- Work on your journal: The positive benefits of journaling cannot be overstated. It is a way to express your feelings without judgment from anyone else. You can format your journal in any way you want: as a letter to a future self, a study of your life, or simple words and phrases to convey how you feel. As long as you are writing your thoughts down, you cannot go wrong.
Lean on your support system
Having a strong support system is more important than ever when going through the aftermath of a miscarriage. Even though your friends, family, and other loved ones will want to offer you comfort. However, they may not know exactly what to say to you. Do not be afraid to tell them what you need from them.
After a life-altering event such as a miscarriage, seeking help from a professional is a completely viable option to help you get back on your feet. Although you may feel ashamed, embarrassed, guilty, or any sort of combination of negative feelings, mental health professionals are there to help.
Again, I want to extend my condolences to you or your loved one during this time. If you are looking to get in touch with a trained professional, please do not hesitate to reach out to me today for anxiety therapy.