Committing one-hour a week can get you hours back in your life!
Do you find yourself saying “yes” to people/places/things when you want to scream “no.”? Do you avoid hard conversations because the discomfort of it feels too much to bear? Do you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? Are feelings of loneliness and resentment keeping you from enjoying relationships?
You are not alone and therapy for yourself can help.
You may have been scrolling therapy website pages (even this one) for months.
But things got a bit better. You started breathing again. Everything started to feel okay again, until it did not. Crap.
Those feelings and ugly behaviors are back. The fear others may see you are human and do not have everything perfect 1000 percent of the time. The anxiety, “to do” lists keeping you up at night, the snappiness that comes out to your kids or partner. The internal pang to just run away (I am talking about coming back but dreaming of going to a fabulous beach, a cabana person taking care of you, no message alerts, not being called mom/dad/boss for just one day). You look at Facebook and Instagram and wonder how they do have it all working. I will spare you weeks of therapy and frustration and tell you……they do not and please jump on the train of practicing a hard no to comparing yourself to others.
You are human. You make mistakes. You may have made them for weeks or years. What I know is that you did not know you were making them. If you did know you may have not known how to change them. Those coming through my door are often diligent professionals, business owners, or stay at home parents who are always on-call. They are motivated and driven. You may relate. They also experience exhaustion, burnout, and an internal anger and frustration.
Individuals often come in relating to this:
Experts at overextending, over giving, over delivering
Boundary avoidance (that “b” word can be so uncomfortable)
They put the needs of others above themselves
the phrase “should have” comes up a lot in the heads
Overachieve to feel worthy and gain acceptance
They know a change is needed. Fear and overwhelm get it the way of starting.
Any of this sound familiar?
Please know you are not the only one. Figuring out and putting into actions the changes in your life you do not have to do alone. Working on areas like those listed above get ahead of challenges such as:
Anxiety and irritability
Feeling like your brain is on an ongoing treadmill of ruminating thoughts
Self-doubt and fear
Health concerns such as unexplained rashes, headaches, digestive challenges
Verbally beating yourself up “you did not do enough”
Those things listed above make life hard. Life is already hard.
We can strategize ways to make it easier, simpler:
It is 6:30am and the dreaded thought, “What is for dinner?” brings anxiousness to your stomach. You can have breakfast for dinner meals. Doing this once a week does not make you a bad parent, I promise.
The weeks go by, and your Peloton now has become an expensive clothes hanger holder because there is just no time. You can hold a family meeting expressing your need to exercise and request help to have 45-minutes uninterrupted (tip here: schedule your rides and place on visual family calendar.)
Everyone has left the office, but you are there because you are not caught up and you fear everyone will know. You can set an intention of the time you are hoping to leave to prevent burn-out and work resentment before you even open your car door in the parking lot of your workplace.
You give permission to be exactly where you are in this exact moment.
Not going over what you did or did not do in the past or worrying about the future (that has not even arrived yet.)
Do not hold your breath. Daily I tell people in my office to breathe. They hold their lips so tight. Exhale.
Wake up most days ready to be in today. You got this! Guess what, even if you do not have “all of it” right you will be fine. Remember, I reminded you that you are human.
You speak up to tell others what you need. You ask for help………yes, you can do that too!