Whether you like it or not, fighting in a relationship is inevitable. No relationship is ever perfect to the extent that they never have an argument. Strife is a part of life, and sometimes these fights feel cyclical.
The root cause of arguments can be common from couple to couple. Although, if you do not see a specific disagreement you and your partner typically have listed below, do not worry. Each couple is different in every way, even when it comes to a reason to fight.
Lack of communication
Often, the root of plenty of arguments can be traced back to a lack of communication. This communication, or lack thereof, can come from plenty of places: you did not convey your emotions, you did not let your partner know about certain plans, or you simply do not talk to your partner enough.
The best way to combat a lack of communication is by working on it. Conveying your thoughts and feelings is a muscle and you must strengthen it by practicing effective communication every chance you can.
As the old saying goes, money is the root of all evil, and for good reason. You and your partner may not agree to spend money on the same things, or one of you may feel as if the other is spending too much. The list is truly endless.
Even though talking about finances is not what many would consider sexy, having an open discussion about financial motivations and goals is a great way to set a strong foundation for your relationship. Work on your communication muscles to set up a realistic budget together.
Issues with intimacy
Issues in the bedroom are another way that communication may fall short. It can be embarrassing to convey your most intimate desires to someone else. Many people ignore issues with sex because they are worried it may make them appear shallow or self-servicing.
A big part of romantic relationships is having intimacy in the bedroom. If you are not satisfied with the frequency you and your partner have sex or have any other concerns, the only way it can be solved is by talking about it with one another.
As much as we love them, family adds layers upon layers of stress to a situation. Whether it is your in-laws or your own children, you may find yourself having cyclical arguments over your family.
Specifically, issues with parenting are a common thread in arguments. You may find that you and your partner have very different discipline styles or are overwhelmed by parenting. Know that this is a completely normal response to raising a child and you are not alone in feeling this joint stress.
Maybe you always do the dishes but never take out the trash. Perhaps your partner always mops but never does laundry. For some people, this can be a good system. For others, this is a recipe for disaster. Splitting up chores and other household responsibilities can be a huge point of contention for many couples who live together. Find out a system that works for you both and stick to it, for the sake of your home and relationship.
At the end of the day, no one can decide if you are fighting with your partner too often other than you. Having an argument does not have to be a negative thing, it can be a moment of growth as well. However, if you feel as if you need an outside hand to help in these fights, I specialize in marriage counseling. Reach out to me when you are ready.