What Are Infidelity Triggers and How Can You Get Past Them?

When your romantic partner cheats on you, it breaks a bond that it is difficult to repair. Once the trust in your relationship has been broken and betrayed, it will likely leave some lasting trauma. Recovering from an act of infidelity is a process, and going through the healing stage is normal and will take time. 

But how do you get over the random triggers reminding you of the betrayal you felt? 

What is an infidelity trigger? 

You may be experiencing the pain that an act of infidelity has caused over and over again. Out of the blue, you may have a flashback to your relationship where your partner cheated on you. These flashbacks and emotions you have are indications of trauma you have from a partner being unfaithful. 

The action that sets these feelings into motion is known as an infidelity trigger. They can come in many different forms, and being able to recognize your trigger is an important step in overcoming them. Some common ways infidelity triggers appear are: 

  • Spending time around your unfaithful significant other: Seeing the source of your infidelity may trigger you. 
  • Hearing romantic stories from your friends and family: This may make you think back on the happy times you and your partner once had together, and how it all went wrong. 
  • Not hearing from your partner: If you do not hear from your partner, you may assume they are using the time to cheat on you. Learn to trust in your new partner. 
  • Coming from nowhere: Sometimes, triggers can come from absolutely nowhere at all, and set off painful memories. 

Moving on 

Healing is a process that looks different for everyone. The only thing that remains the same is that getting past your trauma and overcoming your triggers will take time. Be patient with yourself throughout the process! The type of trauma caused by an act of infidelity may stay with you for a long time. 

Also, keep in mind that whatever happened is not your fault. It is easy to internalize the shame and guilt that goes along with an act of infidelity. You may be wondering what you did wrong to make your partner cheat on you. Whatever actions your partner took are theirs and theirs alone. You did not make them act unfaithfully. Cleanse yourself of blame and begin to move forward. 

woman sitting on dock looking out at dark waterFind what works for you

Getting past infidelity triggers is unique on a person-to-person basis. You must find what works best for you. This will probably involve trying a lot of different things to see how they feel, but ultimately it will pay off in the long run. Do whatever feels best for you and your healing journey. 

A few activities you can try to help you to move on can include: 

  • Journaling your thoughts and feelings 
  • Trying a new hobby, like pottery or crochet
  • Exercises such as yoga, swimming or hiking 
  • Putting memories from your relationship (sweatshirts, photos, etc.) into storage
  • Removing your ex-partner from your social media feed

Reach out for help 

Throughout the healing process, the number one thing to remember is that you are not alone. Friends and family are always available for you to talk with, and if you do not have a strong support system, there are also support groups that exist. Search in your community or even online for people who are going through similar issues. It will provide you a space to talk to people who understand. 

Looking for help in the form of counseling is also a great option. I am more than happy to begin down the path toward a happier, healthier lifestyle with you. Take a look through my website to see if we would be a good fit or reach out today for marriage counseling.